The speaker talks about the experience of growing up with internalized homophobia and the social dynamics it creates, including feeling like a loner and maintaining a curated exterior. He also discusses the process of recognizing and coping with these feelings as one gets older.
In this podcast episode, the speaker talks about how recognizing needless patterns and overcoming shame helped them come out and live a more authentic life. They discuss how shame can be a familiar resting place, and how childhood experiences can influence one's relationship with shame in adulthood.
The experience of not being out can create a bubble around oneself where maintaining a curated exterior is key, while the uncomfortable and difficult feelings underneath can lead to shame.