In this podcast, the speaker advises to allow yourself to feel self-pity after a breakup and not rush into a new relationship because the pain of the breakup doesn't go away instantly. It's essential to keep yourself engaged in new activities and meet new people to be able to move on healthily.
The idea that moving on right after a break-up means the person has completely healed is a common misconception as it hinders individuals from having dealt with their emotions and accepting what the relationship meant to them leading to repercussions in their new relationship.
The end of a relationship can cause a neurological response mimicking depression and reexposure to past memories can reinforce this pathway. It's important to remember that breakups are not only emotional but also neurological.
Allow yourself to feel self-pity and wallow in your emotions for a bit, but also try to meet new people and make new friends who don't know your ex. Keeping up a facade of being fine and moving on too quickly can actually prolong the pain.