The speaker describes how a turd's size and location determined which homeowner's dog was responsible for leaving it instead of focusing on the responsibility of cleaning it up. He demands that every homeowner writes a letter of apology for not taking care of the issue themselves.
A man's brand new truck won't start despite only having few miles on it. His wife later informs him that she needs to take their puppies to the vet but the car won't start.
The speaker talks about deleting a concerning email and going for a walk to clear their mind and ease their embarrassment, while referencing their dog's unintentional witness to their previous embarrassing moment.
Comedian Mark Normand talks about trying to set up a dinner date with Aaron Rodgers and accidentally receiving a public tweet response.
A man shares a hilarious anecdote about how his dogs are so lazy that they can barely walk, and how they treat him and his housekeeper differently.