Episode
782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
1:25:27
Published: Wed Apr 10 2019
Description
IT'S TIME TO PUT THESE SEX MYTHS TO BED. Having a healthy sexual relationship is important. But it’s not something we often talk about. Women’s satisfaction especially seems to take a back seat. So how can women get what they need in the bedroom? As men, we can ask questions. See what your partner is into. And understanding the science behind why women like the things they do are helpful, too. The truth is a lot of what we believe about female sexuality is wrong. We all benefit when women’s sexuality takes the forefront and is better understood. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about female satisfaction with an incredible woman who wrote a book on the subject: Wednesday Martin. Wednesday Martin is a feminist cultural critic, New York Times Bestselling author, and social researcher. Wednesday has written on topics including gender, parenting and motherhood, popular culture, and female sexuality for The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Daily Beast, and Harper's Bazaar, among others. She was a regular contributor to The Daily Telegraph, the online edition of Psychology Today, and the parenting pages at the New York Post. Wednesday has appeared on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, NPR, NBC News, the BBC Newshour, and Fox News as a step/parenting expert. Wednesday says that we should avoid “service sex” where you’re only performing to make your partner happy. You need to know that your needs deserve to be met, too, and they can be with a little work from both partners. So get ready to learn about the science of monogamy and how to keep your relationship exciting on Episode 782. Some Questions I Ask: Why do women cheat? (6:00) Why is non-monogamy looked down upon in the world? (14:00) What made you interested in this topic in the first place? (24:00) How can a man increase sexual desire in a woman? (39:00) How do you handle your research in your personal relationship? (1:05:00) How important is sex in a relationship? (1:09:00) In This Episode You Will Learn: How economics plays into who cheats (10:00) Why long term relationships are harder for women (27:00) Tools for bringing back arousal in your long term relationship (37:00) How your attachment style affects your sexual relationship (1:00:00) About the “orgasm gap” (1:11:00)
Chapters
Wednesday Martin, a cultural critic and author, discusses the importance of teaching children sex education earlier, the realities of modern love and relationships, and the misconceptions surrounding female sexuality.
00:00 - 02:57 (02:57)
Summary
Wednesday Martin, a cultural critic and author, discusses the importance of teaching children sex education earlier, the realities of modern love and relationships, and the misconceptions surrounding female sexuality. She shares insights from her experiences and highlights the potential for personal growth and discovery in these topics.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Men and women have similar motivations for non-monogamous relationships, and saying that women refuse monogamy because they can is oversimplifying the issue as it's often dependent on a woman's circumstances.
02:57 - 07:51 (04:54)
Summary
Men and women have similar motivations for non-monogamous relationships, and saying that women refuse monogamy because they can is oversimplifying the issue as it's often dependent on a woman's circumstances.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The higher rates of domestic and lethal violence towards non-monogamous women are often used to stigmatize non-monogamy for women, but it's actually a symptom of gender inequality and lack of security for women.
07:51 - 13:31 (05:40)
Summary
The higher rates of domestic and lethal violence towards non-monogamous women are often used to stigmatize non-monogamy for women, but it's actually a symptom of gender inequality and lack of security for women.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Anthropologist Helen Fisher argues that the plow is the worst thing to have happened to women as it has stripped them off their freedom to explore and be autonomous.
13:31 - 18:21 (04:50)
Summary
Anthropologist Helen Fisher argues that the plow is the worst thing to have happened to women as it has stripped them off their freedom to explore and be autonomous. Men have an advantage over women in the form of upper body strength.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The author discusses her personal experience with monogamy and the findings of longitudinal studies, all of which suggest that a long-term monogamous relationship predicts low desire for women only.
18:21 - 24:55 (06:34)
Summary
The author discusses her personal experience with monogamy and the findings of longitudinal studies, all of which suggest that a long-term monogamous relationship predicts low desire for women only.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Author and Scientist, Dr. Emily Nagoski, discusses the importance of women's understanding of their sexual desire and how society can save relationships and increase sexual satisfaction for women by accepting and acting on the fact that a decrease in sexual desire happens to most women between years one and three of a relationship.
24:55 - 28:57 (04:02)
Summary
Author and Scientist, Dr. Emily Nagoski, discusses the importance of women's understanding of their sexual desire and how society can save relationships and increase sexual satisfaction for women by accepting and acting on the fact that a decrease in sexual desire happens to most women between years one and three of a relationship.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Research shows that "service sex" (sex offered out of obligation rather than desire) is not enjoyable for either party involved, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
28:57 - 31:26 (02:29)
Summary
Research shows that "service sex" (sex offered out of obligation rather than desire) is not enjoyable for either party involved, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Having open and honest conversations about sexual needs and desires is crucial for healthy relationships.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
It's important for both partners in a relationship to feel sexually excited and satisfied, even in a long-term commitment.
31:26 - 34:25 (02:59)
Summary
It's important for both partners in a relationship to feel sexually excited and satisfied, even in a long-term commitment. Despite societal norms and beliefs about relationships, there are ways to maintain variety and adventure without destroying the relationship.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Exploring sexual preferences and attending sex parties together can improve relationships, as long as there is open communication and an understanding of personal boundaries.
34:25 - 37:22 (02:57)
Summary
Exploring sexual preferences and attending sex parties together can improve relationships, as long as there is open communication and an understanding of personal boundaries.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Evolutionary biologists suggest that early female hominins who had multiple partners had an advantage in that it allowed for a greater variety of sperm and multiple males who believed they could be the father to support the pregnant woman.
37:22 - 40:53 (03:31)
Summary
Evolutionary biologists suggest that early female hominins who had multiple partners had an advantage in that it allowed for a greater variety of sperm and multiple males who believed they could be the father to support the pregnant woman.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Research shows that in paternity cultures where a child has more than one father, the child is more likely to survive to age 16 and reproduce.
40:53 - 45:04 (04:11)
Summary
Research shows that in paternity cultures where a child has more than one father, the child is more likely to survive to age 16 and reproduce. This was observed even in times of scarce resources and shorter lifespans thousands of years ago.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
A study showed how much women like having sex in front of mirrors.
45:04 - 49:53 (04:49)
Summary
A study showed how much women like having sex in front of mirrors. Women are capable of having autonomous sexuality despite being taught religious beliefs systems and societal norms about relationships and sexuality.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Tammy Nelson proposes that monogamy should not be seen as a pinpoint standard but as a continuous spectrum, where individuals can find compatible partners who share their place on that spectrum.
49:53 - 52:19 (02:26)
Summary
Tammy Nelson proposes that monogamy should not be seen as a pinpoint standard but as a continuous spectrum, where individuals can find compatible partners who share their place on that spectrum.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Many people are struggling with monogamy and are seeking alternative ways to find happiness in relationships.
52:19 - 55:28 (03:09)
Summary
Many people are struggling with monogamy and are seeking alternative ways to find happiness in relationships. In the UK, 19% of women and 20% of men in long-term committed relationships have expressed this struggle.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Researchers found that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships have great communication skills and report higher levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction.
55:28 - 1:02:26 (06:58)
Summary
Researchers found that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships have great communication skills and report higher levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Women's orgasms are often overlooked or undervalued in heterosexual relationships, leading to a disparity in pleasure between partners.
1:02:26 - 1:08:39 (06:13)
Summary
Women's orgasms are often overlooked or undervalued in heterosexual relationships, leading to a disparity in pleasure between partners. By prioritizing their own pleasure and being more vocal about their desires, women can take control of their sexual experiences and foster greater equality in the bedroom.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The theory suggests that women evolved to actively seek out successive copulations with multiple partners in order to achieve the ultimate reward of multiple orgasms.
1:08:39 - 1:12:41 (04:02)
Summary
The theory suggests that women evolved to actively seek out successive copulations with multiple partners in order to achieve the ultimate reward of multiple orgasms. However, both selflessness and selfishness are valued characteristics in sexual partners.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Many men find it attractive when a woman takes the lead and tells them what to do in the bedroom.
1:12:41 - 1:15:10 (02:29)
Summary
Many men find it attractive when a woman takes the lead and tells them what to do in the bedroom. This dynamic can be empowering and exciting for both partners involved.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The speaker emphasizes the significance of emotional connections, family, and community in living a fulfilling life.
1:15:10 - 1:19:18 (04:08)
Summary
The speaker emphasizes the significance of emotional connections, family, and community in living a fulfilling life.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Wednesday Martin discusses the importance of acknowledgment in our lives and how it can lead to a better life.
1:19:18 - 1:23:47 (04:29)
Summary
Wednesday Martin discusses the importance of acknowledgment in our lives and how it can lead to a better life. She talks about how her research and study have helped women and men to learn new and better ways to connect.
Episode782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin
PodcastThe School of Greatness
In this episode, the speaker emphasizes the importance of creating an environment of love and inspiration around oneself be it in relationships, family or work to foster growth and achieve one's dreams.
1:23:47 - 1:24:53 (01:06)
Summary
In this episode, the speaker emphasizes the importance of creating an environment of love and inspiration around oneself be it in relationships, family or work to foster growth and achieve one's dreams.