Episode
The Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
2:33:13
Published: Mon Feb 14 2022
Description
In this episode, I discuss the psychology and biology of desire, love and attachment. I explain how childhood attachment types are thought to inform adult attachment styles to romantic partners, and I describe some of the major theories of human mate selection, relationships and infidelity. Additionally, I explore the neurobiology and proposed subconscious processing underlying desire, love and attachment, including the roles of empathy and “positive delusion." I outline how self-awareness can shift one’s relationship attachment style towards securely bonded partnerships. Finally, I describe specific tools and supplements that have been researched to increase libido and sex drive. Throughout the episode, I explain the science and key mechanisms underlying romantic love and outline tools for those seeking to find a strong, healthy relationship, or for those wanting to strengthen an existing relationship. For the full show notes, visit hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1 (Athletic Greens): https://athleticgreens.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Thesis: https://takethesis.com/huberman Supplements from Momentous https://www.livemomentous.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Desire, Love & Attachment (00:02:59) Odor, Perceived Attractiveness & Birth Control (00:08:21) Sponsors: AG1, LMNT, Thesis, Momentous (00:14:13) Romance: Balancing Love & Desire (00:19:00) Animal Studies, Vasopressin & Monogamy (00:22:06) Strange Situation Task, Childhood Attachment Styles (00:32:52) Adult Attachment Styles (00:38:50) Secure Attachment (00:41:23) Autonomic Arousal: The “See-Saw” (00:50:39) Tool: Self-Awareness, Healthy Interdependence (00:53:11) Neurobiology of Desire, Love & Attachment (00:58:02) Empathy & Mating & the Autonomic Nervous System (01:10:02) Positive Delusion, Touch (01:15:20) Relationship Stability (01:21:22) Selecting Mates, Recognition of Autonomic Tone (01:38:28) Neural Mechanisms of Romantic Attachment (01:47:43) Autonomic Coordination in Relationships (01:56:13) Infidelity & Cheating (02:08:56) “Chemistry”, Subconscious Processes (02:12:44) Tools: Libido & Sex Drive (02:20:20) Maca (Maca root) (02:25:58) Tongkat Ali (Longjack) (02:28:56) Tribulus terrestris (02:33:14) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify/Apple Reviews, Sponsors, Instagram, Twitter, Supplements Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac Disclaimer
Chapters
This podcast discusses the biological mechanisms such as hormones and neural circuits that control desire and love in romantic relationships, and how childhood attachment styles can impact adult attachments.
00:00 - 03:08 (03:08)
Summary
This podcast discusses the biological mechanisms such as hormones and neural circuits that control desire and love in romantic relationships, and how childhood attachment styles can impact adult attachments. However, the neural circuits for desire, love, and attachment are quite plastic, meaning they can be changed over time.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
Men seem to find women in the pre-obulatory phase of their menstrual cycle more attractive due to their unique odor, while women find men more attractive during this time as well.
03:08 - 12:52 (09:44)
Summary
Men seem to find women in the pre-obulatory phase of their menstrual cycle more attractive due to their unique odor, while women find men more attractive during this time as well. However, oral contraception eliminates this effect.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
The podcast explores the definitions of desire, love, and attachment while primarily focusing on romantic love and its neural mechanisms.
12:52 - 20:23 (07:31)
Summary
The podcast explores the definitions of desire, love, and attachment while primarily focusing on romantic love and its neural mechanisms.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
The secure attachment style in children is when they are comfortable exploring their environment with the presence of the caregiver, but visibly upset when the caregiver leaves.
20:23 - 34:07 (13:43)
Summary
The secure attachment style in children is when they are comfortable exploring their environment with the presence of the caregiver, but visibly upset when the caregiver leaves. This is because they have trust and confidence that their caregiver will return and be responsive to their needs.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
People can move from securely attached to insecurely attached or avoidant types of attachment styles when they are with an incompatible partner, even if they grew up cultivating a secure attachment style.
34:07 - 41:52 (07:45)
Summary
People can move from securely attached to insecurely attached or avoidant types of attachment styles when they are with an incompatible partner, even if they grew up cultivating a secure attachment style. The different brain areas being active in different sequences and with different intensities can create the feeling of being in love, desire, or attachment, and can be modified in or out of relationships to establish secure attachment.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
Caregiver-child interactions have a significant impact on the development of a child's autonomic nervous system.
41:52 - 52:13 (10:21)
Summary
Caregiver-child interactions have a significant impact on the development of a child's autonomic nervous system. This system is shaped by the tendency of the child to be alert and anxious, calm, or a balance of the two.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
The neural circuits that govern desire, love, and attachment involve the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and use neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which collaborate with the autonomic nervous system.
52:13 - 1:06:32 (14:19)
Summary
The neural circuits that govern desire, love, and attachment involve the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and use neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which collaborate with the autonomic nervous system. These neural circuits also work in conjunction with those responsible for empathy, and are located in the autonomic nervous system.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
The brain circuits for desire, love, and attachment are discussed in relation to how the prefrontal cortex and insula function to regulate the autonomic nervous system for monogamous relationships.
1:06:32 - 1:24:27 (17:54)
Summary
The brain circuits for desire, love, and attachment are discussed in relation to how the prefrontal cortex and insula function to regulate the autonomic nervous system for monogamous relationships.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
People who value stability and rules tend to form relationships with similar individuals while those seeking novelty and spontaneity tend to pair up with others in their dopaminergic category.
1:24:28 - 1:34:49 (10:20)
Summary
People who value stability and rules tend to form relationships with similar individuals while those seeking novelty and spontaneity tend to pair up with others in their dopaminergic category. High dopamine levels increase energy, motivation, and novelty seeking, and push individuals towards people with high estrogen levels.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
Studies have shown that there is a shift in brain waves when two people touch or kiss each other.
1:34:49 - 1:44:16 (09:26)
Summary
Studies have shown that there is a shift in brain waves when two people touch or kiss each other. Neuroanatomical and neurophysiological findings of the resting brain state need to be mapped in order to gain a deeper understanding on how to control and adjust our autonomic nervous system to appreciate and have cognitive empathy towards others.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
In this podcast, the host talks about a viral article about 36 questions that lead to love, and how the questions establish a personal narrative that's causing some sort of autonomic synchronization, explaining the science of falling in love.
1:44:16 - 1:58:53 (14:37)
Summary
In this podcast, the host talks about a viral article about 36 questions that lead to love, and how the questions establish a personal narrative that's causing some sort of autonomic synchronization, explaining the science of falling in love.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
This study suggests that individuals who require a lot of self-expansion stimulation from their significant other are more inclined to find potential partners outside of the relationship as attractive due to their perception of self being shaped by interactions with their significant other.
1:58:53 - 2:09:23 (10:30)
Summary
This study suggests that individuals who require a lot of self-expansion stimulation from their significant other are more inclined to find potential partners outside of the relationship as attractive due to their perception of self being shaped by interactions with their significant other. This also implies that self-confidence independent of self-expansion stimulation from a partner may lead to a more stable relationship.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
Increasing dopamine levels to increase libido can be potentially hazardous since it can lead to chronic pursuit but inability to perform sexually due to the relationship between dopamine and the autonomic nervous system.
2:09:23 - 2:21:12 (11:48)
Summary
Increasing dopamine levels to increase libido can be potentially hazardous since it can lead to chronic pursuit but inability to perform sexually due to the relationship between dopamine and the autonomic nervous system. Testosterone and estrogen also have a more complex role in sex drive than commonly thought.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
Tribulus has been shown to potentially increase testosterone levels and improve sexual function and desire in certain populations, particularly females, but the complexity of neurochemicals and features that regulate libido makes it difficult to assess its effectiveness.
2:21:12 - 2:32:12 (10:59)
Summary
Tribulus has been shown to potentially increase testosterone levels and improve sexual function and desire in certain populations, particularly females, but the complexity of neurochemicals and features that regulate libido makes it difficult to assess its effectiveness.
EpisodeThe Science of Love, Desire and Attachment
PodcastHuberman Lab
This episode is dedicated to asking the listeners to support the podcast by subscribing and leaving reviews on Apple and Spotify, following them on social media, and checking out their sponsors.
2:32:12 - 2:33:23 (01:11)
Summary
This episode is dedicated to asking the listeners to support the podcast by subscribing and leaving reviews on Apple and Spotify, following them on social media, and checking out their sponsors. They also mention their partnership with Momentus Supplements and provide a link to their website.