Aella is a sex researcher, writer, and sex worker. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors: - House of Macadamias: https://houseofmacadamias.com/lex and use code LEX to get 20% off your first order - Athletic Greens: https://athleticgreens.com/lex to get 1 month of fish oil - InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/lex to get 20% off EPISODE LINKS: Aella's Website: https://knowingless.com/ Aella's Twitter: https://twitter.com/aella_girl/ Aella's OnlyFans: https://onlyfans.com/aella_girl/ Askhole card game: https://askhole.io/ PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: https://lexfridman.com/podcast Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2lwqZIr Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2nEwCF8 RSS: https://lexfridman.com/feed/podcast/ YouTube Full Episodes: https://youtube.com/lexfridman YouTube Clips: https://youtube.com/lexclips SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Check out the sponsors above, it's the best way to support this podcast - Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lexfridman - Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexfridman - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lexfridman - LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexfridman - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lexfridman - Medium: https://medium.com/@lexfridman OUTLINE: Here's the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time. (00:00) - Introduction (06:14) - Uncertainty (13:51) - Sex, power, and death (26:21) - Free will (27:46) - Consciousness (37:41) - Childhood (50:39) - Dancing (1:03:56) - Casual sex (1:06:10) - Camming (1:21:05) - OnlyFans (1:31:19) - Dating (1:47:11) - Escorting (2:05:12) - Emotion vs reason (2:13:17) - Love (2:20:50) - Polyamory (2:29:44) - Monogamy (2:36:14) - Sex fetishes (2:53:42) - Dominance and submissiveness (3:03:23) - Psychedelics (3:22:35) - Romance (3:30:05) - Body count (3:39:51) - Porn (3:43:10) - Mortality (3:45:46) - AI (3:56:26) - Rationalist discourse (4:00:18) - Meaning of life
In this podcast, the host speaks with sex researcher Ayla about her experience conducting large-scale human sexuality survey studies, her work as a sex worker, and her thought-provoking Twitter polls. Despite their disagreements, the conversation is interesting and engaging.
The importance of collecting and utilizing data in various studies but also considering individual differences while making decisions. Ayala Pines talks about her data research on sexual preferences and the role of individual factors in relationship satisfaction in this episode of the podcast.
Joe Rogan discusses the importance of being skeptical in scientific research and the often over-ambitious proclamations of results in the news. He highlights the potential embarrassment of failing to properly scrutinize scientific claims and the importance of being self-aware in answering questions accurately.
Understanding the brain through introspection can be difficult as we tend to create coherent narratives that may not always be accurate. It's challenging to engineer the brain's primary drivers, and our relationship with sex needs more rigorous examination.
The podcast explores how heartbreak can change your perspective and help you appreciate the good times, alongside a discussion on how different outlooks on life can shape individual experiences.
The podcast discusses the origin and development of fetishes, exploring the theories and explanations behind them such as childhood experiences and drug use.
The speaker argues that people often confuse the concept of pre-fifth consciousness with signs of consciousness, leading to confusion when discussing consciousness.
Ayla Newhouse explains how fulfilling your wants can lead to a satisfying life, but it's important to forget things to stay present in the moment.
The concept of God and the possibility of everything being possible brings about the escalation of technology and humanity's inability to go back to a simpler time.
The speaker describes the use of psychological torture mechanisms to control their thoughts and actions during an abduction and the lasting impact it had on their physical and mental state.
The speaker shares how being exposed to a new culture allowed her to seriously consider thoughts that she wasn't able to entertain before. She believes it's important to become aware of the assumptions you make and to allow yourself to think freely.
The act of trusting someone involves both intuitive, physical thinking as well as a deeper sense of who the person is. Disagreeing with those we trust is often difficult, requiring rapid thinking and a separation of ideas from personal connections.
The speaker talks about their experience with leading and following roles in partner dancing and how they enjoy having a definitive role but also appreciate the freedom to switch it up occasionally.
The speaker enjoyed learning through Typing Club, where she could ask questions and receive quick feedback. She also likes games that require fast reaction times, but wishes mistakes weren't as punishing in learning activities.
The speaker shares their difficulty in socializing with other people outside of their homeschooling community due to the learned hierarchy and submission. They also mention their experience with camming, a live streaming platform where they talk to the camera live on the computer.
The speaker talks about rediscovering oneself by diving headfirst into sexuality and interior on sexuality, which helps to get their intense rebellion out.
The speaker shares her experience of breaking cultural norms in dating by initiating conversations and pursuing relationships in a non-traditional way. She believes in following one's own intuition instead of conforming to societal expectations.
In this podcast, the discussion includes an individual's enthusiasm towards dressing up as a mime, seducing dogs, and lawn gnomes sitting on chairs.
The process of crafting beautiful, unusual and groundbreaking survey questions is similar to a creative project, like photography. It requires somewhat of an imaginative and playful nature.
The discussion explores the impacts of traumatic situations such as sexual assault, homelessness or being in jail on mental health, including exhaustion and high pressure.
The speaker talks about her experience of men not viewing her as a desirable target and how it might be linked to unintentional signals that she might be sending out. She also mentions the importance of not worrying about unwanted attention.
The episode discusses the concept of whether people have a stable level of happiness that all environmental and genetic factors combine to create or if it changes throughout life.
The podcast discusses how sexuality is not just limited to physical acts, but can also involve creativity and unconventional ideas such as being abducted by gnomes or performing animated hand acts.
In this podcast, various topics were discussed including history, illness, and sexual preferences with a focus on the journey of listening to a podcast together. The topic of needing semen as a cure for a disease was also briefly mentioned.
The importance of chemistry and power dynamics in relationships are discussed, with strategies for finding compatible partners explored, including surveys to define shared values and dynamics, to help narrow down potential matches.
The human brain is easily swayed by visual highlighters and personal preferences, as shown in dating situations and machine learning models. Even if a potential partner doesn't score high on a survey, they can still catch our eye through shared interests or other personalized factors.
The breakdown of conversations online, especially in the context of conflicting opinions and anonymity, is a fascinating topic of discussion. Twitter now provides the opportunity to see entire trees of dialogue in response to a single tweet, providing insight into divisive topics and potential avenues for innovation.
I quit camming because I was burned out.
The speaker talks about how paying for sex has become a fun side thing for her, fulfilling the role of casual sex, and how it helps erase anxiety, even though it is usually paid for by the rich.
The speaker reflects on the role of social programming in his interactions with both strangers and clients, and explains that true intimacy requires getting past these programmed behaviors.
The speaker recognizes the beauty of intimacy, but struggles with showing emotions on their face. The speaker acknowledges that being intimate with someone allows for a glimpse into their soul.
Joking around certain sensitive topics like sex work can be tricky as it can cause internal conflicts between morals and humor. While joking could be fun, the internal dilemmas need to be considered to avoid hurting others.
The speaker discusses guidelines for mindful group conversations that focus on the present moment rather than sexual topics.
In this podcast, the speakers discuss the confusion surrounding the term "love," and the challenge of capturing the true meaning of human interactions in statistical analysis and surveys. They also mention the complexities of polyamorous relationships and the role of sex in love.
The podcast discusses the importance of asking questions that don't have definitive answers, and how those questions can lead to deeper and more meaningful conversations.
The speaker shares the difficult experience of not being able to say the safe word during a sexual encounter and the challenge of building and maintaining relationships within the realm of BDSM.
Discussing potentially uncomfortable topics such as jealousy is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, even if it seems trivial. An open dialogue with your partner can help avoid misunderstandings later on.
The guest speaker shares their experience with finding a conscious monogamous relationship and wanting partners to actively choose that type of relationship. They believe many relationships are monogamous by default and that communication is key in making sure both partners want the same type of relationship.
The speaker discusses the concept of long-term partnerships, compares monogamous and polyamorous relationships, and acknowledges the taboo nature of discussing sexuality.
The podcast explores how human brains can be oriented towards sexual arousal and fetishes, and how society perceives it. They discuss the shame and taboo associated with unconventional fetishes, and how they differ from an arousal towards a specific activity.
Exploring how language AI can reveal hidden desires and fetishes by analyzing speech and writing patterns.
The host talks about a survey on interest in kinkiness, where 80% of young people expressed an interest in it, and how he matches the participants with fictional and historic characters to represent their kinkiness.
The speaker expresses some skepticism about gender theory but emphasizes the importance of treating trans people with kindness and respect. They acknowledge the need for rigor in scientific research on subjects like virology, but stress that this should not impact how we treat trans individuals in everyday life.
The survey shows that men are less likely to admit that they enjoy being dominant in bed, and this phenomenon can be seen in forum posts about submissive men seeking more dominant partners. Women show a preference for both submissive and dominant partners in the survey results.
The discussion centers around the possibility of some men evolving to be submissive that has led to the gay uncle theory that gay people evolved taking themselves out of the gene pool to be assistants. Consequently, the conversation shifts to data analysis, which is different from the survey design.
The speaker discusses her desire for validation of her personal experiences and the negative connotations often associated with LSD due to its potentially destructive effects.
The speaker wonders if there are enlightening beliefs that one can commit to, rather than constantly escaping previous ones and playing with frames.
The podcast discusses how LSD can help to break free from the frames constructed by childhood experiences and become a freer thinker. The speaker shares his own experience of how LSD helped him escape the frame of his childhood and become a more open-minded individual.
The speaker recalls a time when she was depressed and her parents threatened to make her clean the house, but the freedom of being able to think and move around freely again was incredible.
The speaker discusses how processing childhood traumas is a fundamental experience of life and wonders if not talking about it could lead to more trauma.
In this episode, the guests discuss tips for social interactions, setting boundaries, and traveling. They talk about the importance of clear communication and keeping things simple and low-pressure when inviting people to events or gatherings.
In this episode, the speaker discusses applying the method of factor analysis to a broad range of unselected questions instead of just personality or romantic topics, as commonly done. They mention how the Big Five and IQ tests use factor analysis to group questions by organic clusters to obtain test results.
The guest and host discuss whether or not being able to predict someone is important in a relationship and the role of emotions in decision-making.
The host and guest discuss the potential impact of technology on human sexuality, including the role of AI and sex robots in changing how we experience physical connection.
The speaker discusses how his use of LSD helped him come to terms with death, but he still experiences anxiety when faced with mortality. He also reflects on the strangeness of the human body.
The concept of transhumanism and how a brilliant brain can have complete control over reality is discussed, along with the idea of being part of the "Dumer cult" and the indifference towards the term transhumanism.
The movement of legged robots, that step up and look up at you, evokes a sense of power in comparison to a stationary Roomba. While conflict isn't always desirable, some types of conflict, rather than antagonistic conflict, might be considered necessary.
The speaker shares their experience of talking to someone with a different approach to the world and how it differs from what is commonly believed about rationalists.
The interviewer wraps up the conversation with compliments and a quote from Richard Feynman while thanking their guest and asking listeners to support the podcast through the sponsors listed in the description.