Episode

I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
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56:39
Published: Mon Jan 30 2023
Description

In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest with you about relationships.  Our conversation begins with a question from a listener who asked me for advice on how to make your relationship go the distance in this messy modern world. I’ve always shied away from giving relationship advice, mainly because after 26 years of marriage, I know the only secret is this: it takes a lot of consistent work. I also don’t consider myself an “expert” on the topic because our relationship seems to always need attention. It’s so easy to silently retreat to your corners and not address the issues. And there were years where we did just that. In fact, over the past few years, Chris and I have been working through some really heavy issues with a couples therapist. Today I share very personal revelations I’ve had about my own role in causing problems between us. After all we’ve been through, I’m really proud of my husband, Chris, and me for making it this long and doing the work to make it better. In the process of working hard to improve our relationship, I learned six powerful lessons that I felt compelled to share with you. Not because I hold the magic wand, but because I hope these lessons will save you the pain and heartaches I’ve caused myself and my husband. No matter what kind of relationship you might be in, working on, struggling with, or hoping to save, these six lessons will provide a roadmap to make it better. Whether you are married, dating, divorced, happily single, or experiencing a falling out with a friend, this episode will have something for you. About halfway through, another listener asks, “What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to do the work?” In that case, there’s just one rule for when it’s time for you to move on. Oh, one more thing, if you and your partner are having a hard time… Share this episode with them. It’s a simple way to open the door for a much-needed conversation. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:30: The one question you often ask that I put off answering for a long time.3:30: Here’s the hard truth you should know about my marriage.6:30: Here’s what I think about “staying in a marriage for the kids”8:30: The concerning relationship trend I see happening.15:00: Would I be better off without my husband?18:15: This is the only way relationships work out.24:30: What I was doing wrong in my own marriage.28:00: 6 pieces of advice for any relationship.37:30: Here’s why the way you react to your partner’s good news matters.43:00: What do you do when your partner isn’t growing with you?   Disclaimer

Chapters
The host discusses the generational shift of marriage advice and the danger of presenting oneself as a perfect couple.
00:00 - 05:56 (05:56)
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Marriage
Summary

The host discusses the generational shift of marriage advice and the danger of presenting oneself as a perfect couple. She expresses that she does not have the secret to a perfect marriage and discusses the challenges and worth of persevering in a marriage.

Episode
I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Relationships take work and it's important to pause before just walking out the door.
05:56 - 12:01 (06:05)
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Relationships
Summary

Relationships take work and it's important to pause before just walking out the door. Putting in the effort to repair a friendship or marriage can lead to lasting happiness.

Episode
I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Even if you are considering ending your marriage, it's worth it to work on it because it can create boundaries and healing that will help with co-parenting and may even save the relationship.
12:02 - 22:20 (10:17)
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Marriage
Summary

Even if you are considering ending your marriage, it's worth it to work on it because it can create boundaries and healing that will help with co-parenting and may even save the relationship. Don't give up just because you're frustrated; put in the work to make it better.

Episode
I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast
In this podcast episode, Melinda Gates shares six ways of fixing a relationship before giving up, emphasizing that people should focus on what they could do better in their relationships.
22:20 - 30:11 (07:50)
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Relationship advice
Summary

In this podcast episode, Melinda Gates shares six ways of fixing a relationship before giving up, emphasizing that people should focus on what they could do better in their relationships.

Episode
I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The little shitty stuff, like tiny weeds, can grow into much bigger issues if ignored and cause damage to your relationships.
30:12 - 35:02 (04:50)
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Relationships
Summary

The little shitty stuff, like tiny weeds, can grow into much bigger issues if ignored and cause damage to your relationships. Digging out these little irritations can help your relationships blossom and become more meaningful in the long run.

Episode
I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast
If your partner refuses to work on the relationship and attend therapy, it's unlikely that the relationship will improve.
35:02 - 45:08 (10:05)
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Relationship
Summary

If your partner refuses to work on the relationship and attend therapy, it's unlikely that the relationship will improve. It's important to plan and prioritize having fun together to maintain a healthy relationship.

Episode
I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The speaker shares how she learned that she was unintentionally discouraging her husband from doing thoughtful things for her, and how she asked him to bring her flowers more often.
45:08 - 52:57 (07:49)
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Marriage
Summary

The speaker shares how she learned that she was unintentionally discouraging her husband from doing thoughtful things for her, and how she asked him to bring her flowers more often. She also tells the story of a beautiful surprise gift from her husband on their 26th wedding anniversary.

Episode
I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The key to lasting relationships is to remember the person you fell in love with and to work on yourself and your relationship.
52:58 - 56:23 (03:24)
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Relationships
Summary

The key to lasting relationships is to remember the person you fell in love with and to work on yourself and your relationship. Although challenges may arise, working through them together can strengthen any kind of relationship.

Episode
I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work
Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast