Episode
#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
1:02:18
Published: Sun Oct 08 2017
Description
Psychotherapist Esther Perel (@estherperel) is back to answer your most requested questions.The New York Times called her the most important game-changer in sexuality and relational health since Dr. Ruth.Her TED talks on maintaining desire and rethinking infidelity have more than 17 million views, and she's tested and been exposed to everything imaginable in 34 years of running her private therapy practice in New York City.In this episode, Esther explains:How to foster relationship longevity.The most effective ways to improve communication in relationships.How to deal with criticism.Letting go of emotional baggage from past relationships.How to know when to move on from a relationship that doesn't seem to be working.And much more.This podcast is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. One of the hardest parts about growing any business is finding and hiring the right team. Nothing can drain your resources and cost you time and money like making mistakes in hiring.ZipRecruiter developed its own system and platform for helping solve two of the biggest bottlenecks for employers: posting jobs easily and making it even easier to find the best candidates. More than 80 percent of jobs posted return qualified candidates based on your criteria in just 24 hours. As a listener to this show, you can give it a try for free at ziprecruiter.com/tim!This podcast is also brought to you by Audible. I have used Audible for years, and I love audiobooks. I have two to recommend:Ready Player One by Ernest ClineThe Tao of Seneca by SenecaAll you need to do to get your free 30-day Audible trial is visit Audible.com/Tim. Choose one of the above books, or choose any of the endless options they offer. That could be a book, a newspaper, a magazine, or even a class. It's that easy. Go to Audible.com/Tim and get started today.***For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Interested in sponsoring the podcast? Visit tim.blog/sponsor and fill out the form.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss YouTube: youtube.com/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapters
Get a weekly dose of cool things from around the world by subscribing to Five Bullet Friday, and enjoy a special offer from Athletic Greens that includes a free vitamin D supplement and five travel packs with your first subscription purchase.
00:00 - 04:19 (04:19)
Summary
Get a weekly dose of cool things from around the world by subscribing to Five Bullet Friday, and enjoy a special offer from Athletic Greens that includes a free vitamin D supplement and five travel packs with your first subscription purchase.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
Esther Perel shares advice for building and maintaining healthy relationships, including tips for fostering longevity, improving communication, dealing with criticism, and letting go of emotional baggage.
04:19 - 11:11 (06:52)
Summary
Esther Perel shares advice for building and maintaining healthy relationships, including tips for fostering longevity, improving communication, dealing with criticism, and letting go of emotional baggage.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
The speaker emphasizes the importance of men coming together in groups to talk about their inner lives, as it can be incredibly healing during times of crisis, such as post-divorce depression.
11:12 - 15:58 (04:45)
Summary
The speaker emphasizes the importance of men coming together in groups to talk about their inner lives, as it can be incredibly healing during times of crisis, such as post-divorce depression. The power of a group to hold and support an individual is unparalleled.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
The process of moving on after being cheated on involves dealing with hurt, anger, and confusion, and letting go of the predictable future that is no longer possible.
15:58 - 21:53 (05:54)
Summary
The process of moving on after being cheated on involves dealing with hurt, anger, and confusion, and letting go of the predictable future that is no longer possible. It is important to have a final conversation with your ex to try and clear things, and it takes time to begin to rebuild trust, feel good about oneself, and feel lovable again.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
Psychotherapist and author Esther Perel discusses the nuance, complexity, and misunderstandings that come with trying to communicate effectively in relationships.
21:53 - 31:01 (09:08)
Summary
Psychotherapist and author Esther Perel discusses the nuance, complexity, and misunderstandings that come with trying to communicate effectively in relationships. She emphasizes the need for communication and acknowledgement of each other's needs in order to sustain a healthy relationship.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
Staying curious and engaged with your partner is important for the relationship to thrive, as it is a space of exploration, discovery and it allows desire to continue thriving.
31:01 - 39:24 (08:22)
Summary
Staying curious and engaged with your partner is important for the relationship to thrive, as it is a space of exploration, discovery and it allows desire to continue thriving. It takes intentionality, attention and care to remain curious about your partner and see them as a person, not only as your partner.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
The narrator suggests simple yet meaningful activities like having breakfast together, looking outside the window or dancing together to strengthen the bond between partners.
39:24 - 44:38 (05:13)
Summary
The narrator suggests simple yet meaningful activities like having breakfast together, looking outside the window or dancing together to strengthen the bond between partners. The focus during such activities should be on listening and experiencing together rather than just fixing things.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
The speaker discusses how people often feel dismissed and invalidated in interactions with others, particularly when the other person competes with them, outmaneuvers them, or counters everything they say.
44:38 - 50:06 (05:28)
Summary
The speaker discusses how people often feel dismissed and invalidated in interactions with others, particularly when the other person competes with them, outmaneuvers them, or counters everything they say. This can lead to negative feelings and tension in the relationship.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
Dr. Esther Perel provides suggestions and resources for couples who want to explore a more flexible approach to monogamy.
50:07 - 55:36 (05:28)
Summary
Dr. Esther Perel provides suggestions and resources for couples who want to explore a more flexible approach to monogamy. The conversation can lead to intimacy and acceptance between partners as they navigate boundaries, emotions, and sexual health.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
The ability to live with self-ambivalence is an essential ingredient of self-acceptance, and integrating the things you like and dislike about yourself is key to feeling enriched by one's work and not depleted by it.
55:36 - 1:01:04 (05:28)
Summary
The ability to live with self-ambivalence is an essential ingredient of self-acceptance, and integrating the things you like and dislike about yourself is key to feeling enriched by one's work and not depleted by it. Equality in a relationship is important to avoid conversations becoming a power maneuver.
Episode#271: Intimacy, Emotional Baggage, Relationship Longevity, and More - Esther Perel
PodcastThe Tim Ferriss Show
Tim Ferriss invites people to sign up to his Five Bullet Friday weekly newsletter, which includes a short email every Friday with a variety of topics such as new albums and interesting articles he's read.
1:01:05 - 1:02:16 (01:10)
Summary
Tim Ferriss invites people to sign up to his Five Bullet Friday weekly newsletter, which includes a short email every Friday with a variety of topics such as new albums and interesting articles he's read.