Episode
Dating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
1:18:28
Published: Wed Nov 17 2021
Description
Today’s guest is Lori Gottlieb. She’s a psychotherapist, podcast host, and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has sold over a million copies and is currently being adapted as a television series for ABC. She's the host of the popular podcast Dear Therapists and she’s now releasing a new workbook that serves as a companion to her best-selling book called Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Workbook: A Toolkit for Editing Your Story and Changing Your Life.In this episode we discuss why it’s so difficult to find love today, how to better understand your partner, how to break unhealthy cycles from your childhood, the main traits of a narcissist, the common myths around how to truly forgive someone and so much more!For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1190Mel Robbins: The “Secret” Mindset Habit to Building Confidence and Overcoming Scarcity: https://link.chtbl.com/970-podDr. Joe Dispenza on Healing the Body and Transforming the Mind: https://link.chtbl.com/826-podMaster Your Mind and Defy the Odds with David Goggins: https://link.chtbl.com/715-pod
Chapters
Relationship expert discusses the challenges of finding love in today’s climate, citing the fear of intimacy as a primary obstacle.
00:00 - 06:24 (06:24)
Summary
Relationship expert discusses the challenges of finding love in today’s climate, citing the fear of intimacy as a primary obstacle.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The challenges of expressing love in different ways among family members, such as differing preferences for physical touch, gifts, or acts of service, can create misunderstandings or conflicts.
06:24 - 11:57 (05:33)
Summary
The challenges of expressing love in different ways among family members, such as differing preferences for physical touch, gifts, or acts of service, can create misunderstandings or conflicts. These challenges can also arise in addressing past issues, such as sibling favoritism, between adult children and their parents.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The therapist encourages the idea of accepting apologies and moving on, rather than trying to take the moral high ground in a relationship.
11:57 - 13:54 (01:56)
Summary
The therapist encourages the idea of accepting apologies and moving on, rather than trying to take the moral high ground in a relationship. Many people confess things they've never told anyone before during therapy sessions, including men and women alike.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The key to a healthy relationship is to prioritize actions that are good for both parties involved.
13:54 - 16:10 (02:15)
Summary
The key to a healthy relationship is to prioritize actions that are good for both parties involved. Toxic behavior will not result in a healthy relationship.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Sometimes in a group setting, people avoid discussing the important things and instead agree with everything to not rock the boat, leading to a feeling of loneliness and discontent.
16:10 - 22:46 (06:36)
Summary
Sometimes in a group setting, people avoid discussing the important things and instead agree with everything to not rock the boat, leading to a feeling of loneliness and discontent. People need to break the trend to progress and feel fulfilled.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The speakers discuss how in some cases, individuals seek to meet their unfulfilled needs outside of their relationship due to the inability to effectively communicate them to their partner, creating complex situations that test the boundaries of commitment and betrayal.
22:46 - 25:55 (03:09)
Summary
The speakers discuss how in some cases, individuals seek to meet their unfulfilled needs outside of their relationship due to the inability to effectively communicate them to their partner, creating complex situations that test the boundaries of commitment and betrayal.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
In this excerpt from the podcast Unlocking Us with Brené Brown, Esther Perel discusses the power of curiosity in understanding and connecting with others, instead of immediately jumping to try and change someone's opinion to match your own.
25:55 - 30:03 (04:07)
Summary
In this excerpt from the podcast Unlocking Us with Brené Brown, Esther Perel discusses the power of curiosity in understanding and connecting with others, instead of immediately jumping to try and change someone's opinion to match your own.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The speaker discusses how narcissistic traits can lead to a different kind of betrayal in couples, one that involves a lack of empathy and emotional support during difficult times.
30:04 - 35:41 (05:37)
Summary
The speaker discusses how narcissistic traits can lead to a different kind of betrayal in couples, one that involves a lack of empathy and emotional support during difficult times.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The children of narcissistic parents often choose partners who resemble their other parent, and this can perpetuate a cycle of abuse.
35:41 - 38:37 (02:55)
Summary
The children of narcissistic parents often choose partners who resemble their other parent, and this can perpetuate a cycle of abuse. Narcissists also exhibit a Jekyll and Hyde quality, shifting unpredictably from affectionate to cruel.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The podcast discusses the irony of people coming to therapy to deal with somebody else who won't come to therapy.
38:37 - 41:14 (02:36)
Summary
The podcast discusses the irony of people coming to therapy to deal with somebody else who won't come to therapy.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The therapist discusses the challenges of treating individuals with narcissistic traits and how they often only come to therapy if their partner forces them to attend couples therapy.
41:14 - 43:49 (02:35)
Summary
The therapist discusses the challenges of treating individuals with narcissistic traits and how they often only come to therapy if their partner forces them to attend couples therapy.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Therapist gives couples an assignment before they come in for their first session to work on the things they can do to improve the relationship instead of just focusing on ways their partner needs to change.
43:49 - 47:09 (03:20)
Summary
Therapist gives couples an assignment before they come in for their first session to work on the things they can do to improve the relationship instead of just focusing on ways their partner needs to change.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Building a healthy relationship is a continuous process that requires constant healing through open communication and authenticity.
47:09 - 53:16 (06:06)
Summary
Building a healthy relationship is a continuous process that requires constant healing through open communication and authenticity. Couples therapy takes place both during and outside of sessions, where partners can be honest with one another and work through their struggles together.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The speaker discusses the difficulty of expressing oneself during times of emotional stress in a relationship and emphasizes the importance of establishing a safe space to facilitate communication and understanding.
53:16 - 56:05 (02:49)
Summary
The speaker discusses the difficulty of expressing oneself during times of emotional stress in a relationship and emphasizes the importance of establishing a safe space to facilitate communication and understanding.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Your partner knows you in a way that your friends and acquaintances do not.
56:05 - 59:23 (03:18)
Summary
Your partner knows you in a way that your friends and acquaintances do not. Processing trauma and healing is a journey that requires one person to be the adult and prioritizes understanding in a relationship.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
This podcast discusses the issue of forced forgiveness and ways people deal with it, including choosing a partner exactly like the person who hurt them and acknowledging their sensitivities when someone says they are too sensitive.
59:23 - 1:04:30 (05:06)
Summary
This podcast discusses the issue of forced forgiveness and ways people deal with it, including choosing a partner exactly like the person who hurt them and acknowledging their sensitivities when someone says they are too sensitive.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
People tend to stick to what is familiar because it's more comfortable than stepping out into the unknown, even if it means staying in a bad situation.
1:04:30 - 1:07:16 (02:46)
Summary
People tend to stick to what is familiar because it's more comfortable than stepping out into the unknown, even if it means staying in a bad situation.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
On this episode, they explore cherophobia, which is fear of happiness, or more specifically fear of feeling good and the benefits of therapy to help to overcome it.
1:07:16 - 1:09:23 (02:06)
Summary
On this episode, they explore cherophobia, which is fear of happiness, or more specifically fear of feeling good and the benefits of therapy to help to overcome it.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
A discussion about the nuances of parenting and relationships, and the importance of recognizing healthy relationships with conflicts versus unhealthy relationships.
1:09:23 - 1:13:01 (03:38)
Summary
A discussion about the nuances of parenting and relationships, and the importance of recognizing healthy relationships with conflicts versus unhealthy relationships.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
The speaker discusses why people continue to stay in negative environments despite the harm they cause and compares it to failed New Year's resolutions.
1:13:02 - 1:15:37 (02:35)
Summary
The speaker discusses why people continue to stay in negative environments despite the harm they cause and compares it to failed New Year's resolutions.
EpisodeDating Is Hard: Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always The Answer w/Lori Gottlieb EP 1190
PodcastThe School of Greatness
Being flexible is the number one quality that predicts whether someone is a good partner in a couple, according to studies.
1:15:37 - 1:18:20 (02:42)
Summary
Being flexible is the number one quality that predicts whether someone is a good partner in a couple, according to studies. It does not mean giving up your sense of self, but rather being open and adaptable to compromise.