SPONSORS: - Head to https://Policygenius.com right now to get started. When it comes to insurance, it’s nice to get it right. - Go to https://www.shipstation.com , click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in CAVE for a 60-day free trial. - Go to https://BearbottomClothing.com and use code BEARS to get free shipping on your first order Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer talk about Bert's obsession with candy and predictable repeated tooth loss, the unnerving images of "My Feet Are Killing Me," and get inspiration for their secret handshake from a video of Wake Forest football player, Cortez Lewis. They also discuss experiences they had with comedy legend Patrice O'Neal. And finally they call up Justin Martindale to resolve the age old question, "Who's hotter? Bert or Tim Dillon?"
Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura discuss the possibility of getting a secret Bears handshake created by Cortez Lewis. They also apologize for mentioning Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in their previous episode.
The speaker reflects on how attaching oneself to a project can make it more appealing to potential buyers and the benefits of having a partner in the process.
The speaker discusses his experience with jaw clenching during the pandemic and how it has affected him.
The speaker talks about their dental procedures, where 26 of their teeth are crowned, and the need for a laser to remove excess gums.
This is an incoherent podcast transcript with no clear topic or subject matter.
The speaker talks about how big the hearts for Valentine's Day are and how it has affected his life as well as his bite due to an extra big tooth put in.
In this podcast snippet, the speaker discusses the irony of fat shaming and how it applies to his personal journey in weight loss and fitness.
The speaker shares their experience of intermittent fasting, including a misconception about drinking during the fasting period, which can add unnecessary calories to the diet.
The speaker questions the relationship between wine and weight gain, wondering if the struggle with weight is solely related to diet and calories.
The podcast episode discusses a patient diagnosed with excessive calluses on his feet and the treatment options available.
The speaker admires the girlfriend of someone with a skin condition that affects his hands, acknowledging the challenges that come with it.
The speaker was fascinated by observing ants carrying sap up and down a tree and was notified later about the ants carrying acacia sprouts. He was amazed by how one ant found the sprouts and others followed.
The podcast host discusses the importance of creating a secret handshake for fans to use during meet and greets, and mentions how some football players have different handshakes for every player on their team.
Two podcast hosts ask for a secret handshake from the handshake king.
The speaker recounts how she became friends with a stand-up comedian after she attended one of his shows and brought a group of people along to watch.
A conversation about the importance of friendship and the difference in attitudes towards friendship between different cultures.
The speaker reflects on Patrice O'Neal's comedy and mentions his bit about how society reacts when a white woman goes missing compared to a black woman.
The transcript portrays a conversation about a unique and philosophical friend who has a skill for breaking down premises and gives bizarre responses to certain situations.
The conversation jumps from discussing orthopedic shoes to the importance of kindness and consideration towards others.
A nonsensical conversation about relationships and meeting Slash.
The speaker recalls a conversation with an old friend about partying and drug experiences, noting that the friend's experiences were markedly different from their own.
Two individuals discuss the idea of creating an intentionally offensive movie that would still be appealing to viewers due to its controversial nature.
The subjectivity of attraction is discussed, with the example of how one's perception of attractiveness can differ from one city to another. The idea of a percentage of people one would have sex with based on attractiveness is also mentioned.
Comedians Bert and Tom play a game where they rate how many people they would have sex with in the audience.
The Joe Rogan Experience had a hilarious debate on whether gay men would prefer Joe Rogan or Tim Dillon in bed. They even contemplated calling a gay man to ask for their opinion.
During the podcast, the guest compliments the host's appearance and reveals that they called Justin for skin care advice.
The individual is laughing hysterically and makes a joke about a group of 100 guys.
Join Tom and Bert for a hilarious, unscripted podcast filled with dirty jokes, raunchy humor, and amateur cartology. No apologies necessary.