Episode
Why Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
Description
In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult. I want to introduce you to a woman who has had a really big impact on my own healing. She is the renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Nicole LePera, who you may also know as The Holistic Psychologist. Today, Dr. LePera will normalize the common experience of having few memories from childhood. This is something that I struggled with silently. I personally have very few memories from my childhood, and I assumed there was something wrong with me. It was only when I started sharing about this lack of memories online that I realized I wasn’t the only person who can’t reminisce about their past. I now understand why this happens. I also know there is nothing wrong with me. And if you have very few memories from your childhood, there’s nothing wrong with you either. Today, we are digging into parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult. The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered, but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do. This is one of those episodes that I also know you will be sending to family, friends, and siblings because there is so much empowering information here. I personally made all three of our kids listen because I both recognize as a daughter how my childhood impacted me – and as a mom, I’m also very aware that my parenting style has impacted my kids. And, Dr. LePera so beautifully teaches us how to take control of the rest of our lives as adults. Xo Mel PS: After you listen to this one, listen to “Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing” if you haven’t yet, because I’m sharing details from the last few years of my healing journey. Plus, there’s a companion workbook to help you go deeper. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: So many of you wrote in about this particular detail of trauma.8:00: Childhood amnesia – What the heck is that?9:30: Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories.11:30: What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?”15:00: Introducing my friend and world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera.17:45: What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one?24:30: Two big reasons why your brain shuts down in childhood.28:00: Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself?35:00: What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system?37:30: Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event?44:00: Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful. 48:00: Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind.53:15: Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this. Disclaimer If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.
Chapters
Mel Robbins, bestselling author and expert in behavior change and motivation, talks about the topic of memory which she was confused about.
00:00 - 01:11 (01:11)
Summary
Mel Robbins, bestselling author and expert in behavior change and motivation, talks about the topic of memory which she was confused about. She discusses it because it is something significant and personal to her.
EpisodeWhy Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast
In this podcast, the host talks about the common issue of not having memories from childhood and how it can relate to trauma.
01:11 - 10:00 (08:48)
Summary
In this podcast, the host talks about the common issue of not having memories from childhood and how it can relate to trauma. She normalizes the fact that this can be a struggle and that trauma can come from various experiences.
EpisodeWhy Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast
Research from UCLA suggests that living in a constant state of anxiety or hyper alertness can override the brain's ability to function properly, causing erratic emotional responses and memory recall issues.
10:00 - 16:22 (06:22)
Summary
Research from UCLA suggests that living in a constant state of anxiety or hyper alertness can override the brain's ability to function properly, causing erratic emotional responses and memory recall issues. Childhood trauma - such as abuse or discrimination - or exposure to violence in a community can contribute to chronic anxiety.
EpisodeWhy Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast
This podcast talks about the different parenting patterns that can affect us in different ways.
16:22 - 23:35 (07:12)
Summary
This podcast talks about the different parenting patterns that can affect us in different ways. It touches upon issues like having explosive parents, lack of boundaries, and other factors that can make us feel emotionally or physically unsafe in our environment.
EpisodeWhy Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast
High levels of cortisol from consistently being stressed out impact the hippocampus, which plays a role in memory formation.
23:35 - 32:14 (08:39)
Summary
High levels of cortisol from consistently being stressed out impact the hippocampus, which plays a role in memory formation. Childhood experiences can impact our habits and ways of relating to others because they are imprinted in our brain from these early stages of development.
EpisodeWhy Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast
By regulating your nervous system, you can liberate yourself from the daily struggles of life and find relief from feelings of inadequacy, constant trying, and emotional turmoil.
32:14 - 39:31 (07:16)
Summary
By regulating your nervous system, you can liberate yourself from the daily struggles of life and find relief from feelings of inadequacy, constant trying, and emotional turmoil. Expanding the idea of trauma can help individuals recognize the patterns and coping mechanisms in their behavior that can lead to a more fulfilling life.
EpisodeWhy Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast
When parents are consistently emotionally unavailable to their children, it can lead to hypervigilance and a belief that certain parts of themselves are inappropriate and cause people to leave.
39:31 - 46:00 (06:29)
Summary
When parents are consistently emotionally unavailable to their children, it can lead to hypervigilance and a belief that certain parts of themselves are inappropriate and cause people to leave.
EpisodeWhy Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast
This podcast discusses the importance of making a small daily promise to check in with yourself as a conscious being to challenge your subconscious mind and build a deeper understanding of yourself.
46:00 - 53:54 (07:53)
Summary
This podcast discusses the importance of making a small daily promise to check in with yourself as a conscious being to challenge your subconscious mind and build a deeper understanding of yourself. By setting a commitment and intention, you can ground yourself in the present moment and become more connected with your body.
EpisodeWhy Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera
PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast
The podcast host encourages listeners to celebrate the fact that they tuned in, challenged some familiar beliefs, and gave themselves the opportunity to hear something new.
53:54 - 1:01:18 (07:24)
Summary
The podcast host encourages listeners to celebrate the fact that they tuned in, challenged some familiar beliefs, and gave themselves the opportunity to hear something new. By becoming more aware, integrating new information, and making new daily choices, listeners can transform their lives and achieve inner peace.