Episode
#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
2:15:56
Published: Fri Mar 10 2023
Description
Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage and crisis negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors: - Shopify: https://shopify.com/lex to get free trial - Indeed: https://indeed.com/lex to get $75 credit - InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/lex to get 20% off EPISODE LINKS: Chris's Instagram: https://instagram.com/thefbinegotiator Chris's Twitter: https://twitter.com/fbinegotiator Chris's Website: https://blackswanltd.com Chris's Masterclass: https://masterclass.com/classes/chris-voss-teaches-the-art-of-negotiation Never Split the Difference (book): https://amzn.to/3J5scNC PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: https://lexfridman.com/podcast Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2lwqZIr Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2nEwCF8 RSS: https://lexfridman.com/feed/podcast/ YouTube Full Episodes: https://youtube.com/lexfridman YouTube Clips: https://youtube.com/lexclips SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Check out the sponsors above, it's the best way to support this podcast - Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lexfridman - Twitter: https://twitter.com/lexfridman - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lexfridman - LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lexfridman - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lexfridman - Medium: https://medium.com/@lexfridman OUTLINE: Here's the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time. (00:00) - Introduction (06:31) - Negotiation (12:21) - Reason vs Emotion (27:17) - How to listen (36:06) - Negotiation with terrorists (38:14) - Brittney Griner (39:53) - Putin and Zelenskyy (47:13) - Donald Trump (54:23) - When to walk away (58:37) - Israel and Palestine (1:06:16) - Al-Qaeda (1:11:46) - Three voices of negotiation (1:20:11) - Strategic umbrage (1:23:18) - Mirroring (1:26:29) - Labeling (1:33:55) - Exhaustion (1:36:09) - The word "fair" (1:39:06) - Closing the deal (1:41:03) - Manipulation and lying (1:42:58) - Conversation vs Negotiation (1:54:17) - The 7-38-55 Rule (1:58:16) - Chatbots (2:07:39) - War (2:09:10) - Advice for young people
Chapters
In this podcast episode, Lex Fridman has a conversation with Chris Voss, former FBI hostage and crisis negotiator, and author.
00:00 - 01:30 (01:30)
Summary
In this podcast episode, Lex Fridman has a conversation with Chris Voss, former FBI hostage and crisis negotiator, and author. They discuss the art of negotiation and how it can be applied in business and everyday life.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The process of allergy tests and team building are similar, where they are subject to change based on environmental factors and requires patience and effort to achieve desirable results.
01:30 - 06:34 (05:03)
Summary
The process of allergy tests and team building are similar, where they are subject to change based on environmental factors and requires patience and effort to achieve desirable results.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The importance of communicating with family members in hostage situations and how kidnappers are skilled at negotiation tactics.
06:34 - 12:04 (05:29)
Summary
The importance of communicating with family members in hostage situations and how kidnappers are skilled at negotiation tactics.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The importance of empathy in understanding how people make up their minds and the original definition of empathy as an interpretation of art.
12:04 - 17:15 (05:11)
Summary
The importance of empathy in understanding how people make up their minds and the original definition of empathy as an interpretation of art.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
In adversarial situations, it is important to have a regular guy perspective to avoid being disingenuous or advocating for something that may not align with the other side.
17:16 - 22:30 (05:13)
Summary
In adversarial situations, it is important to have a regular guy perspective to avoid being disingenuous or advocating for something that may not align with the other side. It is possible to agree on certain things and find common ground without compromising beliefs.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The speaker proposes to collaborate with honesty and integrity towards a future point where both parties are happy and work back from there.
22:30 - 27:51 (05:21)
Summary
The speaker proposes to collaborate with honesty and integrity towards a future point where both parties are happy and work back from there.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The importance of neuroscience in understanding and deactivating negativity is discussed in this podcast episode.
27:51 - 32:22 (04:30)
Summary
The importance of neuroscience in understanding and deactivating negativity is discussed in this podcast episode.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The speaker discusses the power of maintaining a positive and optimistic worldview, regardless of one's background and views, in promoting happiness and successful negotiations.
32:22 - 36:06 (03:44)
Summary
The speaker discusses the power of maintaining a positive and optimistic worldview, regardless of one's background and views, in promoting happiness and successful negotiations.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The speaker discusses the importance of in-person negotiations, citing examples like the recent exchange of prisoners between the US and Russia as evidence that face-to-face meetings are crucial for successful negotiations.
36:06 - 43:01 (06:54)
Summary
The speaker discusses the importance of in-person negotiations, citing examples like the recent exchange of prisoners between the US and Russia as evidence that face-to-face meetings are crucial for successful negotiations.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
In-person communication provides a level of intimacy and understanding that technology struggles to replicate.
43:01 - 46:47 (03:45)
Summary
In-person communication provides a level of intimacy and understanding that technology struggles to replicate. Additionally, private conversations without a third party present can lead to more fruitful discussions.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The speaker discusses why some people are not fond of former President Donald Trump and how he gained a following.
46:47 - 50:28 (03:41)
Summary
The speaker discusses why some people are not fond of former President Donald Trump and how he gained a following. He also analyzes Trump's negotiation strategies and the impact he had on politics.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
By labeling someone as a narcissist, depressed or bipolar, we tend to overlook their complexities as human beings and miss the opportunity to empathize with them.
50:30 - 54:16 (03:46)
Summary
By labeling someone as a narcissist, depressed or bipolar, we tend to overlook their complexities as human beings and miss the opportunity to empathize with them. Categorizing someone in psychology is not enough to understand their individual makeup and psychology.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
A businessman shares how sometimes it is necessary to walk away from a potential client or deal to ensure the best chance of success in business, even if it may be scary or seem counterintuitive.
54:16 - 58:06 (03:49)
Summary
A businessman shares how sometimes it is necessary to walk away from a potential client or deal to ensure the best chance of success in business, even if it may be scary or seem counterintuitive.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The importance of listening to and acknowledging the other side's position is emphasized in bridging the gap between opposing views and finding common ground through dialogue.
58:10 - 1:04:10 (06:00)
Summary
The importance of listening to and acknowledging the other side's position is emphasized in bridging the gap between opposing views and finding common ground through dialogue.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The concept of empathy can be applied at different levels - from the base level of acknowledging emotions, to a higher level of understanding concepts such as the Shu Hari concept in coaching and business.
1:04:10 - 1:09:07 (04:56)
Summary
The concept of empathy can be applied at different levels - from the base level of acknowledging emotions, to a higher level of understanding concepts such as the Shu Hari concept in coaching and business.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The speaker discusses how people's emotions can be triggered by certain statements, and how knowing that can be used to manipulate them to certain responses.
1:09:08 - 1:14:59 (05:51)
Summary
The speaker discusses how people's emotions can be triggered by certain statements, and how knowing that can be used to manipulate them to certain responses.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The assertive voice, used in self-defense training, can trigger a fight or flight response, proving the power of voice tone.
1:14:59 - 1:19:36 (04:36)
Summary
The assertive voice, used in self-defense training, can trigger a fight or flight response, proving the power of voice tone. The phrase "hope is not a strategy" is directed towards the one-third of the population who are accommodators that are hope-driven.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The idea that strategic umbrage works is based on flawed data and circumstances.
1:19:37 - 1:23:10 (03:33)
Summary
The idea that strategic umbrage works is based on flawed data and circumstances. Instead, it is important to cultivate a mindset of learning and seek out reliable sources of information.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
At the core of effective communication lies empathy.
1:23:12 - 1:29:24 (06:12)
Summary
At the core of effective communication lies empathy. The use of labels can be counterproductive if they indicate a lack of listening or understanding.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The hosts explore the value of silence in conversation, including the feeling of intimacy and the effectiveness it can have in communicating.
1:29:24 - 1:33:03 (03:39)
Summary
The hosts explore the value of silence in conversation, including the feeling of intimacy and the effectiveness it can have in communicating. They discuss tips for utilizing silence, such as counting it out, and how it can create a deeper connection with others.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The use of the word "fair" in negotiations may cause people to become insecure about their own position, prompting them to use the word as a means of getting what they want, according to former FBI negotiator, Chris Voss.
1:33:03 - 1:40:30 (07:26)
Summary
The use of the word "fair" in negotiations may cause people to become insecure about their own position, prompting them to use the word as a means of getting what they want, according to former FBI negotiator, Chris Voss.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The speaker suggests practicing a labeling exercise on people you have regular interactions with to improve your interpersonal skills and ability to accurately read affect.
1:40:30 - 1:47:19 (06:49)
Summary
The speaker suggests practicing a labeling exercise on people you have regular interactions with to improve your interpersonal skills and ability to accurately read affect.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
In this conversation, the speaker discusses the relation between close families and negotiation, and how the closeness of a family echoes in all kinds of negotiations and conversations.
1:47:19 - 1:52:42 (05:23)
Summary
In this conversation, the speaker discusses the relation between close families and negotiation, and how the closeness of a family echoes in all kinds of negotiations and conversations.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The meaning conveyed by the words we use in communication is so important that reducing language to just seven words feels uncomfortable for some.
1:52:42 - 1:58:06 (05:24)
Summary
The meaning conveyed by the words we use in communication is so important that reducing language to just seven words feels uncomfortable for some. Research suggests that only 7% of a message is conveyed through words, while 38% comes from tone of voice and 55% from body language.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The natural ability of chatbots to be positive is contributing to their higher success rates, as chatbots are becoming increasingly human-like.
1:58:08 - 2:02:41 (04:33)
Summary
The natural ability of chatbots to be positive is contributing to their higher success rates, as chatbots are becoming increasingly human-like.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
Former FBI negotiator shares his experience on the value of cognitive diversity in negotiating and its importance in achieving success.
2:02:41 - 2:08:15 (05:34)
Summary
Former FBI negotiator shares his experience on the value of cognitive diversity in negotiating and its importance in achieving success.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
In this episode, the host discusses the importance of clearing out mental clutter and shares ways to do so with examples from Mark Pollock's story.
2:08:15 - 2:13:52 (05:36)
Summary
In this episode, the host discusses the importance of clearing out mental clutter and shares ways to do so with examples from Mark Pollock's story.
Episode#364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
PodcastLex Fridman Podcast
The speaker reflects on the importance of negotiating without fear and waking up each day with a sense of purpose.
2:13:52 - 2:15:35 (01:43)
Summary
The speaker reflects on the importance of negotiating without fear and waking up each day with a sense of purpose. They also mention their adherence to Christian beliefs.